Yes, I missed 30 and 31 weeks. It’s summer, and even though it takes me just a little while to type out these weekly updates I still feel bad when I’m behind on blogging people’s photos so I keep putting it off! But I figured that since tomorrow I’ll be 33 weeks, I should post an update – and I have a lot on my mind so it will be good to get it out! 
WEEK: 32
MONTH: 7
TRIMESTER: 3
GENDER GUESS: Probably boy, but really I have no idea. I was analyzing my belly the other day trying to determine whether it looked more like a basketball (which supposedly means boy) or watermelon (which supposedly means girl). I can’t tell! Of course, Dr. Oz in the book I’m reading said that little old wives’ tale is silly cause it’s all about our individual shapes, the strength of our stomach muscles, and the shape of our uterus. Still, these old wives’ tales are all I have to base my guesses on! 7 weeks till baby’s due date and then we’ll know – eeeeeeeee!!!
BABY’S HOMEWORK THIS WEEK: The baby’s bones are hardening lots, and it keeps gaining more fat and is looking more and more like a baby and less like a wrinkled little thing, and it’s skin is turning more pink. It also has fingernails and toenails, and likely at least some hair! And it’s gaining about a half pound per week, and its lungs keep maturing!
BABY’S SIZE: The baby weighs probably about 4 pounds now and is about 17 inches long. I stare at belly from the side sometimes and wonder how it’s fitting in there, I feel like my belly should be sticking out twice what it is now!
BABY LOOKS LIKE: I think the baby is positioned exactly like this for the most part, and those little feet kick out when it’s awake cause I feel the most movements and pushes and such right at the very top of my belly, and can often feel a little bump pushing out (and sometimes a big bump which I think is the bum pushing out!)!
BELLY PHOTO: From the last three weeks…
WEIGHT GAIN: I’ve been really bad with weighing myself lately, so I have no idea how much I’ve gained! Tomorrow I have an OB appointment so I’ll make sure to weigh myself in the morning (the doctor’s scale always shows a different weight than our scale, and since I started weighing myself at the beginning of the pregnancy on my own scale that’s the only way I know to tell just how much I’ve gained). I’m a little nervous though about how much it’ll say I’ve gained in the last two weeks (between doctor appointments) cause I’ve eaten quite a lot of skittles and some cookies – I realize I need to cut back on all the sugary foods so this baby doesn’t gain tons of weight in the last few weeks and become really hard to push out. Oh, but I do know one measurement – I measured my belly at my belly button a couple days ago, and since May 6 (at 15 weeks – which was the first time I thought to measure my waist), I’ve added 8 inches!!
SYMPTOMS: The big three are still:
1) swelling feet and ankles, and possibly my whole legs – I think I must be retaining water in my legs, at least I’m hoping that’s what it is and not just pure pregnancy fat gain which would take much longer to get rid of. My feet and ankles are pretty much constantly swollen, they don’t go down at night, don’t go down when I have my feet up, I’m pretty much used to it. I’m having trouble with socks and shoes now that the weather is changing. Even my loose socks end up so tight around my ankles or lower legs and leave a huge indentation. I tried wearing Jody’s loose socks and it’s the same thing – like I said, my lower extremities are huge! And as far as shoes, none of them fit well and all feel really tight and uncomfortable. I can wear my tennis shoes way loosened up okay, but they still feel tight. My croc slippers are often really hard to get on and I always wore them with socks cause otherwise my feet sweat, but I sometimes can’t get my feet in them when I’m wearing socks. And then there are my flipflops which still work, but it’s getting colder out so my feet are cold! So long story short, I still don’t have a solid shoe option that I’m happy with right now. And I need to buy some kind of socks that have no tightness at all around the top!
2) acid reflux – which is seriously almost constant too, and some days really awful. I suddenly feel the feeling and then feel the stuff rising in my throat. I eat lots of Tums. I’ve tried eating carrots and that doesn’t help. Unfortunately I’ve noticed that whenever I eat anything with chocolate in it, the reflux gets worse – and this sucks huge cause I love chocolate!!! And I don’t have the best willpower at all so I still eat it. I read that this symptom is due to the Relaxin going through my body, which is there literally to relax everything having to do with growing a baby and getting out, but it also then affects many other things including the muscle that holds down acid.
3) bleeding gums. They’re getting worse, and in two places on my top front gums, the gums themselves are a little swollen and in both places it bleeds soooo easily and a lot. I’m going to see a dentist cause now I’m freaked out – I read in a book the other day that half of women get gingivitis during pregnancy (the symptoms are bleeding and swelling of gums, so yes I definitely have it) but the worry is that it would go into periodontal disease, which can cause preterm labor and a bunch of other stuff. So that really scared me. I don’t know if a dentist could even clean my teeth with the way they bleed – they’d have to have the water and suction thing constantly going to be able to see the teeth – but at least I want to be checked and hopefully told that I don’t have any signs of periodontal disease.
Other than that, let’s see…it’s getting harder to sleep sometimes – my back seems to hurt when I sleep on my left side, but I can only sleep on my right side for so long before getting sore. And sometimes, depending on where the baby is (which side it seems to be on), if I lay on that side the baby suddenly starts moving all around right by where my belly touches the bed so I guess it doesn’t like feeling suddenly pressed in on! A couple weeks ago my left foot was sometimes getting numb-feeling, the doctor said that was normal cause sometimes the baby will be pressed against the nerves that run into one leg or the other. And speaking of baby’s position, I’m going to ask the doctor tomorrow if the baby has “dropped” – I read that sometimes babies drop really early (doesn’t effect when I’ll go into labor, just some babies drop earlier than others) and sometimes I feel such pressure down there and feel the need to do the pregnant waddle – walking v.e.r.y. slowly and with much wider stance cause it feels like there’s something right there! Other than that I think it’s just getting used to the big belly still, and being uncomfortable when bending, leaning, getting down onto the floor to pet my cats, and getting back up again. And I also get out of breath much easier even if I’m walking up the stairs or pacing around the house when I’m talking on the phone (I have to make myself sit down or else it sounds like I’m exercising when I’m talking)!
Oh – I’ve also been having Braxton-Hicks contractions now! I almost forgot cause I haven’t felt any for the past couple nights. I have a feeling that I often have them without knowing I’m having them – at my last OB visit, for example, he could feel my uterus contracting when he put his hand on my stomach but I didn’t know anything was happening. Possibly sometimes when I’m feeling a tightening/contraction, I probably think it’s the baby pushing out instead. I have had a few times though where it feels like cramps – so when there’s pain then I pay close attention. A few times I’ve just felt little cramping feelings very low, like where I’d get normal menstrual cramps. But also a few times I felt a pain throughout my whole belly – and honestly I had to make myself breath through it even though it was, I’m sure, absolutely nothing compared to what real labor contractions will feel like – still it’s kind of shocking to suddenly feel this kind of painful cramp across your whole belly. I usually will feel the painful ones at night. Once I must have even been having them while I was sleeping cause I remember being half awake and moving around some cause it hurt, and Jody happened to be awake and asked me if I was okay (which I only remembered in the morning) so I must have been quite uncomfortable in my sleep. I haven’t had any painful ones for a few days now though, which I guess I like, but I hope I’m still having the unpainful ones that I don’t know about so my uterus is doing the necessary exercises to get it all ready for the big day!
CURRENT MOOD: A little stressed, a little nervous, feeling disorganized and not ready and getting very very terrified about labor. The stressed part – Jody and I have both been really busy this summer, especially over the past month, so we basically haven’t done anything (except I ordered some of my cloth diapers online). Now we’re looking at 7 weeks until the due date, I have at least 2 solid weeks of work to finish photos, probably more, and Jody is finishing up a couple really big jobs with his work. And time is ticking away, and the baby could always come early which really freaks me out. We have to still have the closet redone in the baby’s room before we can do anything – put a carpet in, paint the walls, etc. We need to find and buy a dresser, a rocking/gliding chair, a little side table, some little bookshelves for the floor, and of course all the wall decor and curtains. Jody is going to build the crib, that will probably be in October. I need to order the rest of our cloth diapers (I’ll do that tomorrow!), and I have a list of smaller items that we’re missing and need to start buying some of those. Oh and we still need to buy the car seat and decide on a stroller. And that’s just baby stuff. I also sooooooooo want to make our whole house look nicer and more like a home. Jody’s going to start on the kitchen first, next week when he’ll have some time off from his job. And I’d really love to get a new area rug for our dining room, but I’m so indecisive and rugs are so expensive so I’d really want to buy that with Jody. And we need to buy curtains for the dining room windows. And all new photos and wall art ordered. And another small lamp for our living room, and a side table, and a table thing to hold our electronic equipment. And some cute little decorations to make it seem more homey. And I want to make our master bedroom look much nicer (Jody built us a GORGEOUS bedframe a couple weekends ago and I’m so in love with it!!!) – I want a new duvet and need to buy nightstands for us, and little lamps for on the nightstands, and curtains, and stuff for our walls, and some dresser thing or lower table thing for against the far wall. And the guest bedroom – Jody’s going to build another bed frame for that bed, I want new duvet and sheets, and one nightstand, and a couple big photos printed for the walls, and a little table. And then there’s the bathroom we’re putting in off the dining room downstairs, it still needs to be framed and finished and everything bought for it, I don’t think now that we’ll get that done by the time the baby comes – hopefully we’ll just at least get it all finished with walls and flooring and we can bring the washer and dryer up to put in there. So yes, this is a huge list and I have more. And I need to start compiling recipes for casseroles I can make and freeze, too. I have so many lists made with regard to all the above, and I’m going to make yet another one in a couple weeks when I’m ready to start tackling some of this – a priority list so I can decide what to focus on, and a shopping list for all the things I need/want to buy – and also divide them up by “need” and “want” so I don’t go crazy.
Okay and now labor. It’s 7 weeks away! Or it could be 4 weeks away, or 5 or 6, or of course 8 or 9. It’s so scary not knowing! And until a week ago I’d been nervous but also relaxed, with my thinking always being that I’d try to do natural for as long as I could take the pain, and then I’d get the epidural. I don’t deal well with pain, really I don’t. And supposedly redheads feel pain more than blonds or brunettes. Last week we had our first of two prenatal classes, taught by a wonderful nurse who came to our house and was so full of energy and excitement and vitality and I loved her! She went through all the stages of labor and what happens, things Jody and I should be doing, just the whole process. It was really good to hear and learn and especially for starting to really envision how it will go and how Jody can help me and what I need to do and all that. But I also realized through her presentation that by far it’s best to be up and moving around during early and middle labor – walking, sitting on the ball, showering, swaying with Jody during contractions – it all helps the baby move downward, and helps my body be opening up faster, and if the baby is faced the wrong way and I’m having back labor, being up and leaning forward can actually cause the baby to turn. And then during active pushing labor, until the very end when I’ll be on my back, it’s best to be in positions like kneeling and leaning forward. Now, if I have an epidural, I’ll be lying on my back and that’s the worst position for opening up your birthing passage and helping baby squeeze under the pelvic bone and such. So now I see the physical reasons why I should try to be strong and not have an epidural, but really I don’t know if I can do it – I have no idea what the pain will be like but obviously it’s not fun and not easy and hurts awfully. But now my thinking and emotions have changed, at least they have right now until I can relax and come to terms with this more, and now I’m feeling this huge pressure that if I can’t take the pain and have an epidural, it will be a huge failure on my part and will make labor longer and harder as a result. I don’t want to feel this kind of pressure and be putting this kind of pressure on myself, really I don’t! I know TONS of women who have had epidurals and their babies still come out the same and everything is fine, so I don’t know why I suddenly am being so hard on myself – and I always said I’d never be one of those women who think they have to try to tough it out and do it naturally! I need to read more, and talk with Jody more to make a plan, and come back to my original thinking that when and if I can’t take the pain I’ll get the epidural and there will be absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I’m also really nervous about the pushing part. I hear some women have to push for 2 hours, or 3 hours, or even 4 hours. First there’s the vanity part. The pushing face is an awful face to make, it’s so unattractive. I logically know that when I’m in the situation and feel the need to push I probably won’t be thinking about how stupid I look, but yet that’s kind of how I am and it will probably cross my mind a few times and knowing me, I’ll be trying to push while making the least amount of pushing face that I can. Yes I know this is all so silly sounding but it’s on my mind a lot!!! And then second, that’s going to be SO hard – to be pushing for hours and making just the tiniest bit of progress with each push! It’s boggling my mind at the thought – it’s like sitting on the toilet for a good 2 hours trying to push out a #2 – I can’t even imagine pushing for 2 hours!!!
And finally, I’m just nervous about the whole entire experience, what to expect, what it will be like, whether labor will progress easily or whether it will be complicated, whether I’ll need to have a c-section if something isn’t going right, what the pain will feel like, how bad it will be, how Jody will handle it all, how I’ll handle it all, whether I’ll be able to stay calm (and not release stress hormones which would not help with labor progressing) or whether I’ll have a cry from frustration and fear and all that (I’ll probably have a cry). I’m so nervous and it seems to grow every single day. I know the only way to stop the nervousness from growing and to start calming myself down is 1) to read more so I feel more prepared, and 2) to talk a lot with Jody about it so I feel like we’re in it together and have a plan and that he’ll be there for me and supportive – so we need to actually make a time to sit down and do that since we’ve both been so busy.
This got long! But all this stuff has been swimming in my head for the past especially week and I needed to get it out. I’m sure I could write more and go on for longer about what I’m feeling, too, but I won’t right now. It’s starting to feel overwhelming some days though, between my labor worries and my massive list of things we still need to do to get ready for the baby, and getting our house ready as well, and also learning how to care for a newborn and feeling emotionally ready and relaxed and prepared – right now I feel like I’ll never get there and that when I’m in labor we’ll still be trying to finish things up and what I really want is to reach a point of feeling READY a couple weeks before the baby comes, so I can be happy and relaxed and get in a good mindframe and feel very zen and organized and cook casseroles to freeze and have the baby’s room all decorated and just be relaxed. That would feel so good right now, but I’m so scared I won’t get to have any quiet and relaxed time before the baby comes and I don’t want to start out the baby’s life already feeling on edge and not relaxed, that wouldn’t be good for either of us. This baby better not decide to come very early, it needs to stay in there until at least 39 weeks just to give its mom and dad time to finish everything and then a little downtime to be emotionally ready for it to come!
Just to clarify though, I’m not constantly walking around in a state of stress. Just when I start thinking about all we have to do, so a couple or a few times each day. But I’m pretty good about also taking things one at a time, and right now I know I need to finish all my editing so when I’m sitting at my computer concentrating and getting photos done, I’m very relaxed and focused. And often when worries start creeping in about the list of stuff, I push it aside cause it’s not yet time to do that stuff, first comes the photo stuff on my list, then can come the next things. And I will make sure that in the next couple weeks, I take one day each week, or half a day each week, to go out and do some baby stuff or do some home stuff, just so I feel a little less chaotic with those things and like I have a tiny bit of control still. And I’ll make sure to take a couple breaks each day to lay on the couch or in bed (so my feet are raised) and read one of my books about labor so I start feeling more in control with that whole thing as well. So there’s my plan! But I really do manage to keep myself relaxed most of the time!
Oh and lastly, one more little funny thing! As my belly has grown over the past few weeks, my boobs keep looking so much smaller to me! It’s crazy! Sometimes in some shirts I turn to the side and it almost looks like I have no boobs to me or like they’re little and saggy and thus very scary-looking. It’s all cause the belly looks so big now, it overpowers them! I often end up pulling up my shirt just to remind myself that they’re the same boobs and the same size and really they look just the same as before, and definitely haven’t shrunk!! But still – even in the one photo from this week that shows them they look so tiny, it’s so weird!!!
CURRENT FAVORITE FOOD OR CRAVING: Chocolate and skittles. Not healthy for me I know. Sometimes I really want fruit, so that’s good. And I drink lots of water. And of course take my vitamins and fish oil!
by Rebecca Whitney
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